maanantai 31. toukokuuta 2010


Bremen, Berlin 28.5.2010

Pavements are mostly for those carnevalistic midgets you see in neorealistic italian films. Cars demand the primary point of attention, these legs are to be ran over. Every house seems to shine in all the dimensions of a prism. These people speak german and I don't speak. Disappointment lingers in the air. It seems to be impossible to escape the cultural corrodity of our Great West. For a moment I thought I saw a flying pig hovering over the roofs, on its way to fill itself with steam rolled around in nuclear waste. These smiling rows of sharksharp teeth form a bombardment of joy, flying with cheer across the land. Great advertising polls to hang yourself in. Or maybe just to fill with red paint. And the city of revolutions! This town sleeps with its money and change. It never occurred to anyone they might be sleeping with the enemy. It was too late when it began.

Nightbus, in Berlin at the moment. Can't see the city from here. It's just sharp edges and beams of light in thick mist. The whole city as a hallucination. An oasis of freedom. The wind of change. Wish I was born two decades earlier.

Wanted to drink german beer but got lost and couldn't. Sat some time in a 12th century church. Felt like shit but optimistic about some buddhistic thoughts. These stones lie till the cows come home.

Thinking about youth and culture, cultural youth. I can't see the difference between finnish junkie children and german children junkies. The same hoppers, gangbangers, jockeys, honeys, bees, glitter, alcoholics, metalheads, artists, misfits, punks etc. The world is growing increasingly small. I can't escape the lizard.

Its midnight. In four hours I'll be in Prague. I'm looking for something, don't know what. Want to kill the remaining roots I have. Not much but enough to blind my eyes, lock me to these traps of passive nights. Passive mornings, passive feelings, passive sex under passive roofs. There is a feeling of not-knowing which begins to burn everyday boredom into desperation. Desperation keeps us energized and ready to battle for our right to breath and search. I'm searching for the sake of searching. Need to keep moving.